The comedy skit below are some of the written works of Onyii D'Peppy Concept. The comedy skit , basically is to expose facts, i.e the reality through comedy that the viewers or the readers will at the end, make some amendment in their lives. Because it ridicules to correct some certain things in the society.
SKIT 1.
TITLED: She's a learner.
CAST: Emma
Mary
Jane
MARY:
Who is here ?..(knocking at Emma's door) you better come out now before I will break your door.
EMMA:
Ooooo! For God's sake, who is that chicken that said I won't sleep in my house ?
MARY:
So I'm now a chicken right? Come and open this door now, I can see that you don't like the make of this door again...
EMMA:
(Door opens ) Why are u hear? And why are you with bag full of cloths?
MARY:
Which of the above question do you want me to answer first? (Entering Emma's room ) step aside joor, I have come to stay.
EMMA:
W h a t ?.... To stay?
MARY:
No, I have come to go.... See, the fruit you planted in (pointing at her stomach ) me has started growing.
EMMA:
You mea, you're pregna...
MARY:
Yes! Pregnant.
EMMA:
Babe, is that what you're taking time to say ( looking around on how to run away ) oya, wait for me let me go and buy you cold drink . My baby! my baby! .
MARY:
Now you're talking , go fast and come back.
EMMA:
At your service (he ran away and never return that day). Jesus! ...so this girl came to give me responsibility, me that hardly eat two square meal a day ?
JANE:
Emma.. Aaaa where are you running to ? Who is coming after you?
EMMA:
Me?... I'm not running oh! I just want to go and check something I'm coming .
JANE:
OK ooo! If you say so.
EMMA:
Yes, bye bye (paused ) see them... (Looking at Jane ) they only came to kill. Let me go to my friend's house and sleep very well with my two eyes closed.
END.
SKIT 2.
TITLED: The jobless niggas
CAST: Philip
John
Grace
JOHN
Oh boy! Are you seeing what I'm seeing ?
PHILIP
What is it that you're seeing again ?
JOHN
Looking at that beautiful flower coming towards here
PHILIP
How can flower be ... Oh my God... Who is that babe?
JOHN
Guy, I'm coming , I wanna talk to her.
PHILIP
Hahahaha... And you think she will look at broke ass like you.
JOHN
Just watch and see.
PHILIP
I pity you, don't just come back here crying, Heeeh! I'm warning you.
JOHN
Just shut up (In a slowly voice ) shut up and stop talking.
PHILIP
Ok naa! Fine boy, dry pocket.
JOHN
(Heading towards Grace ) hello beauty !
GRACE
Are you is a talking to me ?
JOHN
Jesus!...(looking shocked )
GRACE
Why are you is a calling Jesus ?.. If you is a talking to me, talking it now.
JOHN
Yes! No! No! Yes! .. I mean no...
GRACE
See , you thinking I having your time. I didn't because I'm lating in schooling now. Bye bye.
JOHN
Yes! yes, you can go now, you really need to be in school like right now.
GRACE
Thank you, don't mention. Greetings your friend for me. (Pointing at where Philip was sitting ) greetings him.
JOHN
Yes, I will . bye
PHILIP
(He sighted him coming ) Congratulations bro. So how far?
JOHN
See, I don't want to talk right now, let's go and look for a job. Because it's only a jobless people like us will meet that kind of girl that can not even speak normal English talk more of speaking it fluently.
PHILIP
Hahahaha... Sorry o.... Hahahaha
JOHN
Let's go joor, or you meet me at GodWin's shop (he left ).
PHILIP
I will meet you there, let me go and collect something from house. (He zoomed off ).
END.
SKIT 3.
TITLED: I must not be fooled again.
CAST: Mike
Peter
PETER
This guy is taking me for granted, I must go and collect my money today.
MIKE
(saw Peter coming to his shop ) he mustn't see me , I must escape.
PETER
Mike!... Mike! (On getting there he didn't see Mike ) if you think you can run, you will come and meet me here today. In fact, let me wear one of this cloth and stand like a statue here because he must pay me today.
MIKE
(After a while he came back to his shop thinking Peter has gone back home ) Nawa o! Is it everyday I will be running away from my shop like a thief ? At least I thank God that he did not see me today. Let me quickly go and deposit this one hnundred and fifty thousand naira to my account, because I must not remove one kobo from it. If I have money I will pay him.
PETER
Mike, did I hear out well ? (Coming out from where he stand) my money now , or your life
MIKE
Please wait... Is not what you think...
PETER
I said my money now or your life.
MIKE
Ok wait, calm down... (counting Peter's money with immediate effect ) here is your money.
PETER
Is it complete? (Recounting it ) Hope is complete?
MIKE
Please go away from my shop, and don't come back here again.
PETER
Of course, as long as you don't owe me
MIKE
Go! go! Leave at once.
PETER
Easy bro, before I will punch your face and label it black and brown, like I did to you when we're still teenager.
MIKE
Leave my shop let human being enter.
PETER
Oh! I have forgotten that I'm a 'statue' ghost that you saw in your shop today.... Thank you for the money anyway. Bye.
MIKE
I don't blame you, monkey head.
END.
SKIT 1.
TITLED: She's a learner.
CAST: Emma
Mary
Jane
MARY:
Who is here ?..(knocking at Emma's door) you better come out now before I will break your door.
EMMA:
Ooooo! For God's sake, who is that chicken that said I won't sleep in my house ?
MARY:
So I'm now a chicken right? Come and open this door now, I can see that you don't like the make of this door again...
EMMA:
(Door opens ) Why are u hear? And why are you with bag full of cloths?
MARY:
Which of the above question do you want me to answer first? (Entering Emma's room ) step aside joor, I have come to stay.
EMMA:
W h a t ?.... To stay?
MARY:
No, I have come to go.... See, the fruit you planted in (pointing at her stomach ) me has started growing.
EMMA:
You mea, you're pregna...
MARY:
Yes! Pregnant.
EMMA:
Babe, is that what you're taking time to say ( looking around on how to run away ) oya, wait for me let me go and buy you cold drink . My baby! my baby! .
MARY:
Now you're talking , go fast and come back.
EMMA:
At your service (he ran away and never return that day). Jesus! ...so this girl came to give me responsibility, me that hardly eat two square meal a day ?
JANE:
Emma.. Aaaa where are you running to ? Who is coming after you?
EMMA:
Me?... I'm not running oh! I just want to go and check something I'm coming .
JANE:
OK ooo! If you say so.
EMMA:
Yes, bye bye (paused ) see them... (Looking at Jane ) they only came to kill. Let me go to my friend's house and sleep very well with my two eyes closed.
END.
SKIT 2.
TITLED: The jobless niggas
CAST: Philip
John
Grace
JOHN
Oh boy! Are you seeing what I'm seeing ?
PHILIP
What is it that you're seeing again ?
JOHN
Looking at that beautiful flower coming towards here
PHILIP
How can flower be ... Oh my God... Who is that babe?
JOHN
Guy, I'm coming , I wanna talk to her.
PHILIP
Hahahaha... And you think she will look at broke ass like you.
JOHN
Just watch and see.
PHILIP
I pity you, don't just come back here crying, Heeeh! I'm warning you.
JOHN
Just shut up (In a slowly voice ) shut up and stop talking.
PHILIP
Ok naa! Fine boy, dry pocket.
JOHN
(Heading towards Grace ) hello beauty !
GRACE
Are you is a talking to me ?
JOHN
Jesus!...(looking shocked )
GRACE
Why are you is a calling Jesus ?.. If you is a talking to me, talking it now.
JOHN
Yes! No! No! Yes! .. I mean no...
GRACE
See , you thinking I having your time. I didn't because I'm lating in schooling now. Bye bye.
JOHN
Yes! yes, you can go now, you really need to be in school like right now.
GRACE
Thank you, don't mention. Greetings your friend for me. (Pointing at where Philip was sitting ) greetings him.
JOHN
Yes, I will . bye
PHILIP
(He sighted him coming ) Congratulations bro. So how far?
JOHN
See, I don't want to talk right now, let's go and look for a job. Because it's only a jobless people like us will meet that kind of girl that can not even speak normal English talk more of speaking it fluently.
PHILIP
Hahahaha... Sorry o.... Hahahaha
JOHN
Let's go joor, or you meet me at GodWin's shop (he left ).
PHILIP
I will meet you there, let me go and collect something from house. (He zoomed off ).
END.
SKIT 3.
TITLED: I must not be fooled again.
CAST: Mike
Peter
PETER
This guy is taking me for granted, I must go and collect my money today.
MIKE
(saw Peter coming to his shop ) he mustn't see me , I must escape.
PETER
Mike!... Mike! (On getting there he didn't see Mike ) if you think you can run, you will come and meet me here today. In fact, let me wear one of this cloth and stand like a statue here because he must pay me today.
MIKE
(After a while he came back to his shop thinking Peter has gone back home ) Nawa o! Is it everyday I will be running away from my shop like a thief ? At least I thank God that he did not see me today. Let me quickly go and deposit this one hnundred and fifty thousand naira to my account, because I must not remove one kobo from it. If I have money I will pay him.
PETER
Mike, did I hear out well ? (Coming out from where he stand) my money now , or your life
MIKE
Please wait... Is not what you think...
PETER
I said my money now or your life.
MIKE
Ok wait, calm down... (counting Peter's money with immediate effect ) here is your money.
PETER
Is it complete? (Recounting it ) Hope is complete?
MIKE
Please go away from my shop, and don't come back here again.
PETER
Of course, as long as you don't owe me
MIKE
Go! go! Leave at once.
PETER
Easy bro, before I will punch your face and label it black and brown, like I did to you when we're still teenager.
MIKE
Leave my shop let human being enter.
PETER
Oh! I have forgotten that I'm a 'statue' ghost that you saw in your shop today.... Thank you for the money anyway. Bye.
MIKE
I don't blame you, monkey head.
END.
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